Hi friends! This post will be slightly different from the normal peek and see, decorative posts I usually do. Don't worry, I don't plan to have too many of these wordy type posts but this is one I really do want to publish today. It's about letting go, accepting imperfections and embracing truth.
I am happy to write this today as my first entry in a private blog. Hopefully, one of the benefits of having a private blog will be that I will feel more comfortable sharing my heart from time to time. In life I have found that opening up your heart to others is a tricky thing. Going private gives me a little more assurance that I am among friends when I speak. So welcome friends, it's nice to have you here!
This week I was reminded in so, so many ways how great is my need of Jesus. Praise the Lord that we have a father in heaven who is so full of grace and so willing to show us this everyday if we would just open our eyes and hearts and pay attention.
This weeks "heart" lesson was three fold.
Lesson One: Letting go!
Hmmm, but surely I don't tend to linger on things? I am strong, Lord! You know that I have had a lifetime of learning to adjust to situations that I'd rather have not had to bother with. You know I have already well learned and accepted that most of the difficult situations were out of my hands. I have survived and am living quite happily despite. So why after all I have had to let go of, do I still face the task of learning to let go? Haven't I mastered "letting go" yet? Apparently not.
Apparently, learning to let go also involves letting go of expectations. How have I missed this lesson again? I have spoken about this before in a post that I closed to the public some time ago. I closed it because I was getting hits on it from all around the world. It was my number one viewed post. In that post I had shared the following graphic below. It has been pinned and re-shared more then any other image I have ever posted.
In that post I spoke about letting go in the sense of what I felt I had to do to let go of the expectations of what others put upon me. Letting go, of the need to fulfill everyone else's perception of what I should be for them. It is a very hard and exhausting thing to continually try and be what others expect you to be. It was a genuine freeing amount of growth for me this letting go. It allowed me to be and to love who I am, who I have been made to be. Judging from the popularity of that post, I would say many of us need to learn that part of letting go.
But this weeks lesson on letting go reminded me I have not quite mastered it yet. Once again I have found I am to continue working on the part of letting go of my expectations of others. More to the point, letting go of the expectations I have when others and situations or expectations are not met MY way.
Lesson Two: Accepting Imperfections
The above image is of a sterling silver necklace made in the image of my initials. I have wanted one of these for quite some time and was so excited to finally be getting one of these from a new vendor at market.
I am currently in the business of selling and producing monograms for others. Occasionally, I see and deal with very strong reactions when someones expectations are not met as to how their own initials should look. We pride ourselves on our work and work hard to get it right. But occasionally, what we think is right in our expertise just does not meet the expectations or definition of another.
And so it was with my own necklace above. We did not make this necklace ourselves, it is a new vendor we are carrying. This vendors work is not die cast by a machine, it is hand crafted. I knew this going into my own order. I knew it would be different, but yet I still held an image with my own expectations of how it would look. I was heartsick when it arrived and did not look like the image I had in my mind. I was so upset I felt sick to my stomach that we had invested in a product that I could not wholeheartedly promote. I also wrestled with the emotions of having to pay for something that was not what I expected. Because it is a custom order it is non returnable. I am familiar with this policy, as we too have this policy.
I felt somewhat better in that I was not alone in in my judgement that something was not quite right with this one. In fact, it was easy for many of us to see and joke about the imperfections we saw here. When something is different from the norm it is always easy to find a crowd of supporters isn't it? We are all experts on what should and should not be aren't we?
Lesson Three: Embracing Truth
But heaven help me, despite it all, the truth was I still wanted that necklace. I wanted that chunk of silver hanging on my neck with my own initials. I didn't like what I saw but I was determined to find something redeeming in my purchase. I decided what the heck, I will wear it anyway. At the very least our customers will now understand the meaning of handcrafted. So I wore it anyway, the necklace with the funky shaped initials. Then something wonderful happened I realized that the funky necklace I saw in the mirror actually fit the funky person who wore it.
Yes, you see I am that odd person who often doesn't quite fit the mold. I am the one who often doesn't meet the expectations that others have placed on me. I am the one who wrestles with the expectations I place on others, for surely if I can embrace differences so can others right? Sadly no not always. Now I could wallow in frustration and anger over rejections or I can let go of my expectations, overlook the imperfections and wear my initials proudly. Because, I am the one who is beautifully made, and handcrafted by the master artist.
Thanks be to the Father, Son and Holy Ghost for my three part lesson this week!
And...
May God bless you as well!
